Happy Juneteenth!

Juneteenth is finally here and I am excited!

My level of love for Juneteenth is equivalent of that of that when syrup first met pancakes.

If you do not know what Juneteenth is you should first be ashamed. Be very ashamed.

When you are done being ashamed you can gain the knowledge of Juneteenth. Juneteenth is defined as “a festival held annually on the nineteenth of June by African Americans (especially in the southern states), to commemorate emancipation from slavery in Texas on that day in 1865.”. What this fancy definition fails to say is that it is also one of those holidays. By that I mean those holidays in which everybody and their mama stops by unannounced to grab a plate of food, gossip, or both!

“Gurrrrrl guess what I heard!”

This random group of people can include a distant cousin, an older “auntie” who expects you to remember her babysitting you when you were two years old, and your current crush.

You just never know who you are going to see on Juneteenth. It’s like hearing a knock at your door on Purge night.

It could be a friendly, terrified potential victim.

Or a group of mass murderers.

You just never know what you gonna get, life is like a box of chocolates, right?

So I’m guessing you want to look good when your future husband walks in the door.

Or former babysitter/ Auntie.

In an effort to look presentable to elders but still sexy to the future hubby I recommend a maxi dress!

Maxi dresses are the perfect outfit to appease everyone. They are long, loose, and modest so they are good for the elder. Then when you turn around….

As the famous philosopher Aubrey Drake Graham once said “I hate it when she go, but I love to watch her leave.”.

To find the perfect maxi dress to wear to your Juneteenth celebration that will not break the bank I recommend buying one from the thrift store!

One that I love is this cute and light weight hi-low black maxi dress.

The ruffles on the hemline add just the right amount of movement. The light weight fabric allows you to be cool while socializing at your Juneteenth celebration. I initially found this dress at a department store for $273.00!

Thankfully Thredup had it for only $33.50.

My next recommendation is this cute and sexy white sundress from shopgoodwill.com. Originally from White House Black Market, the price of this piece originally was a lot higher than the $15.00 price tag found at goodwill!

The affordable dress is fashioned using a lightweight tulle fabric and affixed with a bow. Few can deny that bows are cute, however the bow is used to hide a belt that cinches in the waist and gives you the perfect hourglass shape.

But even the dresses above are gone you can always put on pants and go buy the perfect dress to wear on Juneteenth at a physical thrift store!

or don’t…

Good luck and Happy Juneteenth!

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Happy Birthday!

DISCLAIMER:  The following post is sad and deals with death. If unwilling to read on this topic the upbeat tone of Creole Thrift will resume Friday.

Many people hold the mistaken belief that one experiences the stages of grief sequentially. One after the preceding stage in a neatly organized line. A line which will only last two years tops then fade away cleanly in a mist of acceptance. A mist used to serve as an example that eventually the grief will completely absolve and everything will be ok.

Unfortunately this is not true. At least it has not been true for me. The stages of grief for me which were brought about by my mama’s unexpected (to me) death about four years ago have never completely faded away into a mist of acceptance. In fact, they fail to occur linearly at all. Preferring to flare up sporadically like a cold sore on someone with herpes.

I am in a state of acceptance the majority of the year. When I say that I’m ok I really am. If anything I am always slightly angry at her for leaving me when I need her most. She was my friend as well as someone who would love me unconditionally despite all of my faults. She was my biggest fan and my mom. You only get one of those; and I don’t have one.

It pains me to think of all the milestones that I will be forced to make without her. How happy she would be to see me get married or to play with her grandchildren.

Every year on my birthday and her deathday I am reminded of this absence. This leads to a depression preceding the day by at least a week. My depression consists of me overindulging in my dopamine releasing drug of choice, exercise. Exercise may be considered a “good” addiction, but it’s an addiction nonetheless. Also when 8+ hours of exercise are coupled with the lack of appetite and starvation that may accompany depression, lightheadedness and/or fainting is inevitable.

Wendy Williams

I honestly don’t know what to do, say, feel etc. What do you suggest?


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Super easy Mardi Gras king cake

February is so dramatic. There’s just a lot going on with this month. From being Black History Month to being the home of valentines day and sometimes Mardi Gras, February has a lot on its plate. To add to the load is the fact that it’s also the birthday month of a beautiful, unique, and intelligent person.

Not, Rihanna, ME!

Lucky for my twin brother and I we always LOVED (and continue to love) “Mardi Gras time” more than our birthday (disclaimer: Mardi Gras isn’t only one day, its a two week period, and its only boob flashing and peeing in the streets for the 20 somethings who don’t worry about being respectful or accidently cutting up and having their “Mawmaws” homegirl see them. Its actually oriented for kids, kids LOVE Mardi Gras time).

So due to the fact that around my birthday everyone’s minds were consumed with Mardi Gras and I also loved Mardi Gras its logical to conclude that I typically had a Mardi Gras themed birthday. At the center of my birthday was always a king cake.

According to kingkingcakes.com a king cake is an “oval-shaped braided cake similar to a coffee cake which has cinnamon within the braids and is decorated with icing and sugar the colors of gold (God’s power), green (faith in Christ), and purple (Justice of God) – and contains a tiny plastic baby symbolic of the Baby Jesus usually baked within but sometimes
placed within the cake after it has been baked”.

With a king cake if you find the baby you have to bring the next king cake. Nothing will happen to you if you don’t, but everyone will feel some type of way.

Because my king cake also doubled as a birthday cake my Mawmaw made sure that it was extra good. She typically made my king cake from scratch (for bragging rights) but if in a hurry she used this budget friendly hack. It tastes just as good as homemade king cake and is a fraction of the price. It only requires a few ingredients and doesn’t require hours of preparation! I adore this recipe and make it every year. Below are instructions of how I do so:

Ingredients

2 cans of store brought cinnamon roll

1 package of cream cheese

purple,green, and gold sugar

1 small plastic baby or toy optional

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 375°F.
  2. Place cinnamon rolls in a greased bundt pan. Press down on cinnamon rolls with your hand to flatten them slightly.
  1. Bake according to package instructions. Let cool.
  2. Frost with the icing that comes with the cinnamon rolls mixed with the cream cheese. Add yellow, green and purple sugar. Serve immediately or store covered for up to 24 hours at room temperature.

That was super simple! Will you try it?

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year for tv

 

 

As I expressed in a previous post I don’t really like Christmas.

Christmas is out here with all the bells and whistles demanding all the attention while I’m competing to be heard.  Christmas is the Nicki Minaj of the year while I’m the Chinese Kitty.

 But despite my issues with Christmas I still thoroughly enjoy Christmas movies and tv episodes.

Something about a good Claymation movie or a rendition of A Christmas Carol with your favorite tv show cast really gets to me.  Its guaranteed to be the one episode of the year when everyone shows heartfelt love.  Even the antagonist of the series displays such compassion that you forget why you don’t like them.

Then January rolls around and helps you to remember.

So Christmas is my least favorite holiday to actually celebrate but brings my favorite specials.  Following is a list of my favorite Christmas specials aka the inevitable “Christmas episode” of tv series.

 Goodtimes: A traveling Christmas

To be honest I’m a little biased when it comes to this pick because Goodtimes is my favorite show ever and can do no wrong in my eyes.  They could literally have an entire episode with Florida screaming “damn damn damn!” in a santa hat and it would’ve made this list.

But this episode has more than that.  It involves the Evans family getting ready to throw their annual Christmas party!  That Evans family throws a lot of parties for a seemingly impoverished family living in the projects.

So Keith reveals that he has to work the night of the party and cannot attend.  The Evans family decides that they will bring the party to Keith’s job!

 Fresh Prince of  Bel-Air:Deck the Halls

 

 

 Proud Family: Seven Days of Kwanzaa

 

This episode taught us about the Black American celebration of Kwanzaa.  It begins with the Proud family inviting a seemingly homeless family over for Christmas dinner. The next day a plot twist occurs and the family reveals their true selves.

South Park: Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo

 

Arguably the most controversial piece of crap out

in this episode South Park has to remove anything related to Christmas or offensive.  With three stipulations Mr. Hankey can shine, as he is not offensive.  However, there is one problem, Mr. Hankey only reveals himself to Kyle.

Living  Single: Living Kringle

Synclair is always over-dramatic and her reaction to Christmas follows this pattern. However, Synclair’s enthusiasm for the holiday season is not matched by her friends.  In a series of hilarious efforts Synclair seeks  to change that.

The Jeffersons: 984 W. 124th Street, Apt. 5C

This episode is dedicated to all the people out there who think they man cheatin’ when they discover they sending gifts to mysterious address.  *Spoiler* George wasn’t lying when he denied Louise’s accusations.

Rugrats: Channakuh

This iconic Rugrats episode introduced little children everywhere to the concept of Channakuh through a rendition of stories in which the “babies” played the characters.

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Halloween Costumes for babies

COstumes 4 babies

I love the kids and the kids love me, especially babies.  When I see a cute little chubby baby I Just want my own!  They are so cute and precious I get super envious.  Then I remember that babies turn into toddlers and ultimately teenagers and my desire to have one of my own quickly fades away.  Kids are still undeniably cute for about 2 years, after that it’s up to the universe to determine if they are cute or not.  While in this stage babies can wear any halloween costume and it will look cute.  Babies can literally wear a white tee shirt and look cute.

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But if they want to step it up they can wear an actual costume.  Following are the cutest halloween costumes for babies,

1costume

I don’t drink soda but I’d have to make an exception for this cutie.

2costume

I personally would not really be frightened if this monster was in my closet.  I would think “how’d a baby get in my closet?!”

3costume

Forget pumpkin spice lattes and order that grande baby frap with soy!

4costume

I wonder if Chucky is thinking about his mom?  (sidenote: One of the saddest moments ever on the big screen is on the movie when Chucky wanted a mom 🙁 )

5costume

The prince of Wakanda!

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Decorate your bedroom for Halloween!

The greatest element of any holiday is the feeling it invokes in you.  On Christmas it is a feeling of warmth and joy, Thanksgiving it’s the feeling of gratitude and abundance, and on Halloween it’s eeriness and the impending feeling of doom.

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The feeling of being scared is addictive.  Proof of this can be found in the popularity of Stephen King books, American Horror Story, scary movies, f***boys who you give your heart to, love, new things, ok sorry I went off there…

Ok that aside, feelings associated with holidays are often brung on with decorations.  Case in point can be the popularity of a christmas tree or the necessity for candles on a birthday cake,  These little items remind us subconscioulsy that the item is special and invokes a feeling within us.  The feeling of fear is a personal one which we don’t allow others to see in many situations.  When we do allow ourselves to be truly scared it is akin to being naked, we allow vulnerability and freeness.  The main location where we are naked is our bedroom.  Well, for most people its the bedroom, clothes are uncomfortable so when home alone its probably everywhere actually…

So one thing is unquestionable, that we tend to spend the majority of our time in the bedroom, naked or clothed.

(Theres only two places a woman belongs, the kitchen and the bedroom, Florida!  Kitchen and the bedroom!!)

So why not make it a space that promotes vulnerability by invoking a sense of fear in yourself while simultaneously paying homage to the great holiday of Halloween?  Decorating your bedroom for Halloween is easy and the thrift store makes decorating cheap!

When Heckorating (halloween+decorating, clever, right?) you first want to focus on making your bed look adequately festive.

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The most important element of most bedrooms is the bed.  It’s where we do two of the bodies most needed activities.

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😉

We spend the majority of our time in the bed.  The bed is so important to many that no expense is spared in ensuring its comfortability and aesthetic appeal.  Aesthetically it represents the room.  Therefore, when heckorating your bedroom for Halloween you want to be sure to heckerize your bed.

Changing your pillow covers and adding accessories such as a Halloween blanket or a few Halloween decorative pillows go a long way in ensuring the wickedness of your bedroom.

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Your next step in heckerization is to hang up some elegant photo frames with black and white portraits of random people.  I don’t know why black and white portraits are creepy, they just are.

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You can print out random portraits online and then hang them in an ornate picture frame from the thrift store.  You can affix it to your wall using a command hook.

Your next step is to add random spooky knick-knacks to your bedroom, such as skulls or mannequin parts, or dolls (dolls are another thing that are creepy for some reason).

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But be careful to not add too many knick-knacks or else you’ll look like a hoarder.

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Next a Halloween tree is essential.  A Halloween tree is basically a Christmas tree without the tree or the jolly ornaments. Basically you find a branch, stick it in a pot with dirt then decorate it with Halloween themed ornaments or Halloween themed garlands.  You can use a mannequin limb instead of a branch, whichever works best for you.  If you MUST use a tree make sure it’s skinny with no curves, a Kylie Jenner before her surgeries looking tree.  That brings me to my next tip, make sure the tree is not aesthetically pleasing either.

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You can find printable Halloween ornaments and garlands here.  Underneath your tree place presents {candy, spider rings, that “porn” from the ‘20s of women in lingerie, etc.) wrapped in orange or black paper.

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Next we focus on setting the mood by setting up some white candles (white candles are another thing that are creepy for some reason.  Or sexy. White candles are either really creepy or really sexy.  There’s no in between).  In order to burn them safely I suggest using an elegant looking saucer from the thrift store.  Nothing is creepier than a white candle on a nice plate.

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Finally, the symbol of Halloween is the jack-o-lantern!  To make your heckoration complete you must have one!  But because it will go inside your room and roaches and fruit flies don’t really go with the theme (or do they?) we will pass on carving them. Instead you can mimic carving by drawing designs with a sharpie onto the pumpkin; and be unique and creative! Make your faux jack-o-lantern match your theme.

Or opt for a non-pumpkin option.

Share your favorite ways to heckorate!

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