Why we love fuckboys

“Once upon a time, not long ago I was a ho And I’m admitting it I won’t take it back ’cause I did the shit”

So as the lyrics imply I was a ho in my younger days. Yes, despite looking as if I am still “young, dumb, and full of” …pancakes, I am not.

I’m just black; and due to my high concentration of melanin and use of mouisturization (lotion) I manage to look much younger than I am.

How old am I? You ask. Bitch that’s rude! Never ask a lady her age.

But back to the topic, ho-ism, a complicated subject, is best learned through immersal. As I immersed myself in ho-ism (for educational purposes, of course) I noticed a recurring delineation. This delineation was a preference for fuckboys.

Fuckboys are “a man who has many casual sexual partners“ (Urban Dictionary).

This preference for fuckboys is not strictly confined to hoes, however, it appears in significant numbers throughout the entire female demographic . From hoes to ladies. From personal experience I can attest to the fact that this preference continues into complete female maturity despite competing preferences of mature women to settle-down and find a stable partner.

As a former ho I can personally attest to the irresistible attraction of a fuckboy. A fuckboy is a lot like a hot sugary donut.

You know it’s bad for you, but you’ve just got to have it.

So what is it about fuckboys that keeps bringing us in? I’ll tell you below.

He “makes (you) feel good”


Not just in that way, but in regards to your inherent desire for external validation. No matter how amazing a girl looks, she still would like to hear it sometimes. Even if your self esteem is on ten, words of external validation are needed at times.

Thankfully, an inherent trait of fuckboys is to compliment you on your appearance.

Fuckboys are super confident

Have you ever met someone who is not very physically attractive but is so confident and smooth they make you question yourself on whether they are really ugly? They go from this

to this

in the span of a few days. Confidence is sexy; and fuckboys have it pumping through their veins.

Fuckboys tell you what you want to hear

Like Chaka Khan, Ne-yo, Mario and countless others we “don’t wanna know” just “Lie to me” and “Tell me something good”. Lucky for us, we have fuckboys who avoid telling the harsh truth like water avoids oil!

All of your friends will be envious of you

Who wouldn’t want a charismatic, confident charmer on their arm for a night?

Fuckboys will leave you with a set of valuable skills

Most fuckboys are narcissists.

Yes, meme, you are right; not ALL fuckboys, but most. True to narcissism the fuckboy only speaks about topics that interest him. Things like sex, money, music, cars, sports etc.

After spending a substantial amount of time with a fuckboy knowledge of those topics are bound to transfer to you.

For example, I have an extensive knowledge of gangsta rap.

The seed for this knowledge was planted back when I was just a little child in elementary school and I started a hip hop group modeled after Master P (New Orleans, Master P was LORD at the time). ugh We would write verses about fucking bitches, gang life, getting money etc. You know, typical 8 year old stuff.

But by the time I encountered my first fuckboy in High school my love of gangsta rap and expressing stories, thoughts, ideas, etc. through the written word had faded away. My love of gangsta rap and my knowledge of it was rekindled by a fuckboy who constantly played it and talked about it to me.

Through my encounter with a fuckboy I learned many things. Among them was the fact that Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11.

Do you love fuckboys? Are you a fuckboy?!

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Be intimate during the summer

Turn off the lights, and light a candle…

Maybe don’t light a candle…

Summer is not as romantic as one would think. It’s hot, sticky, and full of mosquitos.

To top it all of kids are out of school and bored, so to entertain themselves they come eat up all your food and bother you. Even when they’re not yours.

Many of us actually dislike summer and romanticize it only in the winter when we’re freezing our butts off.

It’s hard to be intimate when you are more concerned with not melting or getting malaria than you are with “sexy time”, but millions of people around the world do it and according to Askmen.com there are a variety of benefits to receive by doing it.

Askmen.com reports that ” The act of cuddling releases a hormone called oxytocin, sometimes called the ‘cuddling hormone.’ Oxytocin is responsible for provoking what scientists refer to as ‘pair bonding’, which means it makes the cuddling couple feel closer and more intimate”.

So, basically if you cuddle with your man he won’t cheat on you.

…Not really 100% sure about that, I mean a leaopard doesn’t change it’s spots. A cheater is going to cheat on you no matter what you do or how you look.

But back to the topic. Intimacy doesn’t have to cease to exist just because it is hot outside. Some tried and true methods to intimacy in the summer are as follows:

Taking room temperature showers together

A tried and true “sexy time” location, few can dispute the showers’ dual ability to get you clean and satisfied at the same time.

But did you know that if you just turn down the water heat (and close your eyes and use your imagination) you have a romantic waterfall cascading onto you and your lover?

Getting a “pool full of liquor and dive in”

When I was in undergrad my friends did this and I couldn’t go because I was busy.

They made sure to tell me about it in detail and make me regret not going. They also made sure to throw in that my crush went! To think that I missed the opportunity to pretend I was drunk and confess my love to him and have him positively respond and then we’d be happily ever after and I would have like six kids by now took me out!

(If he’s reading this mwen renmen ou, I’m waiting for you bae!)

I’lll always be waiting

But despite the fact that I have yet to experience it in person, I still think that it is a great way to beat the heat while also cuddling up to a special someone.

Good old fashioned water balloon fight

Disclaimer: You may not want to partake in this option if you wear wigs and glue them down with Got2bglue. One wrong move and your wig can go flying. Yes, your man know that’s not your hair. But let him pretend for a few minutes before you put your scarf back on.

This a fun way to be intimately completive while staying cool and burning some calories! Motivate one another by making a fun prize like the loser has to be the winners slave for 12 hours.

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Are camgirls artificial fantasies?

I initially set out to determine whether or not camming was considered sex work thus enabling camgirls the ability to adopt the title of “sex worker”. In my quest I stumbled upon a post titled
“The Emotional Side of Camming”. The article was written for Vice magazine and was accurate as it drew examples and quotes from camgirls at the time. It was definitely an interesting article about “the physical and psychological strain on women in an industry where success is dependent upon consistency and access is often conveniently forgotten”. It explored that topic well and in its support of its thesis mentioned the similarity between camgirls and Samantha in the film Her.

Her is an Academy Award winning film that “follows Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix), a man who develops a relationship with Samantha (Scarlett Johansson), an artificially intelligent virtual assistant personified through a female voice”

The article only used the comparison as a simple example and briefly touched on it but I found it to be fascinating and wanted it to be expounded upon more. Thus, this article was born.

So armed with a bag of popcorn I set out to rewatch the film Her. This time watching I made sure to watch the film from a perspective of a camgirl focused more on Samantha than Theodore. With the aforementioned lens I noticed a few things.

My first observation was in how Theo (in my opinion) talked sh** about his wife and hyped up this Operating System chick who hasn’t had to deal with his bs and doesn’t have to worry about working 40 hours a week while caring for a manchild while still being expected to have sex every night.

I was about to ride up on Theo and put these paws on him for my girl Karen but then I remembered that I’m black and the law isn’t exactly in my favor.

My second observation was how Theo idolized Samantha and projected a personality upon her that matched him perfectly and when Samantha expressed ideals that did not match these Theo lost interest. Theo’s loss of interest was portrayed visually in the scene in which he basically shunned the sexual advances of the surrogate sex partner.

This scene relates to camgirls as it embodies the initial obsession with them prior to getting to know them as entities that are multi-layered and bigger than 1 dimensional fantasies. It’s easy to project perfection on someone whos just a voice and in the case of a camgirl an image. However, when that girl is staring you right in your face perfection becomes slightly more difficult to project.

A lot of frequent viewers like camgirls and imagine camgirls just lounge around like this:

When in actuality camgirls lounge around like this:

Because camgirls portray a fantasy; embodying characteristics that may not exactly embody her true self yet fulfill the needs of the Theo (or viewer) in the situation it is fine for them to mold their personality to fit the needs of whomever they are matched with that day.

Theo needed someone to talk to and to give him confidence so that he could get over his impending divorce just as Theo’s friend Amy need a friend to make her laugh following her separation.

No matter the situation the Operating System was prepared to make it all better. This final statement can be directly applied to camgirls. Like Samantha, a camgirl can be whatever you need at the time.

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Camming while on your period

In my last camgirl post I stated that in the next camgirl post I would explore the signs of horniness within males; but as Wendy Williams notoriously says “a woman is allowed to change her mind” and after doing hours of pointless research, I have. The signs of horniness in males did not offer a very vast or interesting list. Basically, if a guy smiles at you, he’s horny…just kidding!

kinda….

The topic of this post will be focused on periods! Most women have them, and they are here to stay. Just like another thing that is also here to stay and equally as troublesome: BILLS!

So even when Aunt Flow is visiting and you feel like trading in your webcam for a gallon of cookie dough ice cream and Netflix you cannot. You cannot because the rent is due every month and its not going to pay itself.

So you may feel like a cow but in order to put food on the table you must be a sexy cow.

Here’s how.

Periods.

Medical News Today describes a period as follows “A woman has two ovaries, each of which contains a number of eggs. Every month during the reproductive years an egg will be released. Also, every month, the womb prepares a lining in case the egg should become fertilized. If the egg does not become fertilized, the lining is not needed and, together with the egg, it will be shed. We see this shedding as blood. This is what we call a period”.

Medical News Today as well as numerous other sources maintain that the frequency and duration of periods vary based on a variety of other factors but one is guaranteed to experience at least one. This statement makes periods seem like a serial killer of sorts.

Medical News Today lists the following symptoms as being symptoms associated with periods:

  • abdominal bloating
  • acne
  • headache, including migraine
  • irritability
  • pains, especially backache
  • low mood
  • feeling generally emotional or troubled
  • insomnia
  • lack of concentration
  • breast tenderness or swelling
  • slight weight gain
  • binge eating

I experience pretty much all of them (ESPECIALLY irritability and low mood, I will ban you for calling me cute and then cry when five minutes go by and no one tips. I am the poster child for emotionality during that time of the month.)

The best way I have found to deal with your period while camming is to be honest about it. The persons viewing cams are not in the sixth grade (hopefully) and probably wont be totally disgusted when you divulge that you are unable to do something due to being on your period. However, chances are they will be disgusted if you move the tampon to the side and proceed.

I deal with bloating by donning a cute one piece lingerie. I also make sure that a bunch of snacks are nearby to satiate the need for junk food accompanying periods. In regards to both pain and emotional volatility I recommend offering a private show with the ability for members to purchase a ticket. Give them like two hours or so to buy a ticket and then just do stuff for those who actually pay, not the freeloaders. Freeloaders just really grind my gears when I’m on my period and if I expend 1 ounce of energy and they don’t tip

So I eliminate the outward expression of irritability by only offering my time and energy to paying customers.

I would LOVE to hear your tips for keeping it sexy when Aunt Flow comes around! Please leave them in the comment section below.

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5 Signs of Horniness in women

People no longer have sex purely for procreation. According to a survey of adults aged 20 to 59 done by the National Center for Health Statistics the majority of responders report that their objective in having sex is to have fun, not to make a baby. It is notable that the preference for having sexual relationships in order to make a child significantly increases and forms the majority for women of child-bearing age.

This change in perception of sex from a necessary evil to a good time creates an importance in ensuring the arousal of your partner. You would want every party involved to be having fun, right? Below are five signs that your female partner is aroused. Net Friday arousal signs in males will be examined. This week is for the ladies.

You smell different

The smell of your skin will change when aroused. The smell will not change for the better or change for the worse, it will just change. This happens due to the secretion of pheromones in the body, a chemical substance that sends olfactory cues in order to provoke certain behaviors related to sexual desire and attraction.

You get hot. literally

When a woman is aroused, she’ll experience a significant increase in body temperature. This is due to the increased heartrate and increased blood flow to your skin. So while you’re “turn(ing) the lights down low” you should do the same with the air conditioning before you get freaky.

Your language changes

Before this wonderful era that permits women to express sexual desires verbally there were the dark ages where sexual expression wasn’t allowed. Although I am not from that era, I was raised by someone who was and adhere HEAVILY to this point.

A lot of females cannot say “I want to bang you” so instead will use euphemisms for what they want to do. For example they will say “oh its hot in here! I need to have a long hard sip of coke”.

You get touchy

When aroused, you feel the need to touch the object of your lust.

No, it doesn’t mean ladies out here grabbing d#@!s at Sunday dinners in front of grandma. This isn’t Soul Food.

Subtle touches of your hand, your knee, or your cheek are telltale signs of horniness. You will go for the parts of your body that are not often touched by others – like your inner thigh or lower part of your back.

You arch your back

Arching the back is not just something skinny Instagram models consciously do to fool less than smart men into thinking they have a curvy figure, its something we do subconsciously when our body is ready to “mate”.

Do any of these things happen to you when you’re aroused?

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8 things you need to know about orgasms

If winning the lottery and world peace had a love child the child would be the female orgasm.

Equal parts pleasure and biological necessity, a good orgasm is all you need in life.  Well, that and water; and food; and shelter etc.

girl agreeing

Ok maybe its not all that you need, but it sure is nice!  Here are 8 facts about the female orgasm that may help you “reach the climax that your man can’t make” (One More Chance by Notorious B.I.G).

Some women have orgasms while they exercise (i.e., “coregasms”).

Young Woman Doing Pushups on Bench

So, you’re elongating your life, looking thinner, AND having an orgasm?!  What other super activity has that many benefits?

BEDA3A7D-124A-4EF0-9783-98A8054F7AF2

In addition,  physical activity also releases endorphins in your brain.  The same stimuli released in antidepressants and sugar.  So not only will you possibly have an orgasm but you will feel happier either way.

 Most women report that a longer penis does not increase their likelihood of reaching orgasm during vaginal intercourse

keep-calm-size-doesn-t-matter

Apparently size doesn’t really matter!  You can refer the clients who would like confirmation of this to this science based evidence article on elitedaily.com.

It’s not easy for women to reach orgasm

Young couple in bed, man sitting up with arms crossed, portrait

You are not alone if you have never experienced an orgasm! According to Rowland, Cempel, and Tempel, as reviewed in their recent study Women’s Attributions Regarding Why They Have Difficulty Reaching Orgasm,” reports of difficulty or inability to orgasm in women range from 10 to 40 percent. External factors such as stress at work or medical issues are often to blame for this problem.

Orgasm gets better with age.

sexy old woman

This fact drums up fond memories of my grandma telling me how she is having the best sex shes ever had now, in her 70’s at the time.  Looking back, that topic of conversation may have been a bit innapropriate…But apparently as her ease at achieving orgasms increased her filter in conversations decreased.

Women can experience orgasm in their sleep

Mid-adult couple sleeping

Two of my favorite things to do are to sleep and have sex!  The combination of the positive factors of both sounds fantastic!  Orgasming while asleep is a subconscious activity that cannot be controlled.  So, unfortunately, you cannot force  an orgasm to happen while sleeping.  Doctors compare this phenomena to sleep walking.

The environment and social factors affect the ability of a woman to achieve orgasm

ily

“Setting the mood” is a needed step in being able to achieve an orgasm.  Other factors that affect our social lives such as a fight with a friend or disagreement with a coworker can also diminish the ability to orgasm.

It’s a form of cardio

running-buddies.jpg

Forget the treadmill, you don’t even have to leave the bed to improve heart health.  Orgasms increase your heart rate and are a great way to get your daily cardio in.

It relieves stress

stressed woman


A way to relieve stress is to have the brain release endorphins.  Endorphins are like reminders to your brain to be happy.  Studies have shown that many illegal drugs such as heroin cause your brain to release endorphins.  An alternative is orgasming.  Orgasms are also found to release endorphins and to relieve stress.

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